If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
