made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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