I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
