Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
