if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize