She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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