Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
