you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
