I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
