so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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