I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
