I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
