she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Randomize
