Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She just used a chaser for red wine.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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