Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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