We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
