Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
