Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
