why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
