Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize