Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
