I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My vagina just clenched in fear
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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