Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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