Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
