yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
