it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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