Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
