Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
