right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
