I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
