my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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