Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
