I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My vagina is officially offended.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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