my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
