I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
