shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
