Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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