WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
