dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
