Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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