tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
