can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Randomize