What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
