hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
