Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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