and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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