just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My vagina just recognized that song.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
