why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
