i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
