Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
