"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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