If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
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